If you have had the genuine pleasure of meeting Michael, you have likely been exposed to some of his famous phrases that make us understand the true meaning of LMAO. Gems like “What the ACTUAL f@$&” will forever remind us of Michael’s wit and way with words.

Some other favourites include:


Grab yer ankles, HoHoTOnians – it’s gonna be a wild ride.

No guarantees until the sheep are in the paddock or whatevahdafuckdametaphoriz.

Let me check my diary.

I will endeavour to ensure my seconds are suitably cleaned, dried and neatly presented, as no one should have to receive seconds that are… sloppy.

The skywriter is booked and I’ve optioned the free lawn space along the side of the Gardiner.

In the back garden…

While we were “hoovering”…

Holy shitballs on toast! Or, its alternate, Outfuckenstanding savoury tea biscuit.

It’s all gone pear-shaped.

Michael’s reply to a request to bring Purell to a meeting when a friend remarked about being under the weather: Purell doesn’t taste good. Stick to hot whiskey.

Michael’s advice to someone making a media appearance: break a leg. Kick ass. Do your thang. You’ll be awesome.

And a favourite: ne’er-do-wells can bite my transparent Irish arse*.

*Full disclosure: Michael’s arse is not actually all that transparent and does not constitute a reasonable window substitute. Some conditions apply. Professional driver, closed course. YMMV. WTGC.

We can’t wait for Michael to be back on his feet wrapped “in 4.5 yards of Shetland wool” (otherwise known as his kilt and sporran number).

Do you have a favourite “Michael-ism”? Please share in the comments below!

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